Hard facts to face in a divorce

If you are facing a divorce, even if you are the one seeking it, it can open up a few cans of worms. You may be astonished by the feelings of loss and regret that wash over you from time to time during the divorce process.

It should be helpful to learn that those feelings and emotions are completely normal under the circumstances. After all, this person was supposed to be your partner and designated plus-one for life. Severing these ties may not be as easy as you first had thought.

Below are some scenarios for which the newly divorced should be prepared to face.

People will let you down

Divorce might as well be contagious per the way people sometimes avoid their newly single friends and even family members. Friendships that you thought could weather any storm may not hold up once divorce rears its head. This is especially true if you have formed strong bonds with your in-laws over the years.

But others will step up

It can be surprising to learn that some of your most ardent supporters during your divorce may be people with whom you were formerly not as close. But perhaps they underwent the same thing and can really relate to your situation.

Your kids might clam up about their feelings

Even children who always were an open book and wore their hearts on their sleeves may now keep their own counsel. This is normal and totally understandable. It only becomes problematic if the kids are holding on to negative emotions and need to learn healthier coping strategies. In those cases, scheduling some counseling sessions could get them back on track.

You might second-guess your decision

If you initiated the divorce, you may find that as time goes by, you are less sure that divorce is the best choice for you and your spouse. Sometimes discussing this with your spouse can lead to a reconciliation. But more often than not, you are right to proceed with the divorce action and simply got sidelined by a wave of nostalgia.

Healing from divorce is not a linear process

Some days you might feel as if you’re taking one step forward and two steps back. The entire first year after your divorce you may be blindsided by anniversaries and holidays. Just when you think you’ve gained some ground, you face an emotional setback.

If you truly feel mired in regret and depression, ask your Nashville family law attorney or your physician for a referral to a good counselor. After a few sessions, you might be back on track to embrace your life as a single person.