Combat adjustment issues in children during divorce

Divorce turns a child’s life upside down, but it is sometimes unavoidable because the adults simply can’t live together any longer. For the parents, this presents a challenge because they can’t just leave each other alone since they do have kids together. Working as a team can be hard at times, but working through the issues can lead to a well-adjusted child who has the support of both parents.

Sometimes, children will have a lot of trouble adjusting to the situation. This might lead to behavioral problems, which can cause more work for the parents. Figuring out how to help the children during this time must be a priority.

Common problems that children might face

Depression and aggression are two of the more common behavioral changes that might be troubling. You have to keep a close eye on the children to see how they are truly adjusting. Never take their word that they are doing fine. Instead, look at what’s going on.

Some children might withdraw from friends so they aren’t as socially active as they once were. They might not perform in school or extracurricular activities in the same way they did before the divorce. Anger, frustration and intense sadness are also possible.

Combatting the issue

Unless your children are with you around the clock, you won’t have a comprehensive picture of how they are doing. You can enlist the help of other adults who come into contact with them regularly. Talk to teachers, pastors, coaches and friends’ parents. Let them know about the divorce and that you’d appreciate their help checking on the children.

As hard as it is to think about, your children might not want to come to either parent with their feelings about the end of the marriage. Find out which trusted adults will be willing to lend an ear and give advice to the kids. Remember, these adults might not be able to relay the exact thoughts of your children. It is important to have people with whom the kids can share their thoughts, so don’t push if there are things your child asked them not to repeat.

Provide stability

Stability is important for children. One way that you can help to give them this is to have the child custody agreement made as early in the divorce as possible. The more details you have, the better things might go. You and your ex should remain focused on doing what is in the child’s best interests.